THE LONGEST MUSICAL DAY - Distortion Festival/ Pete Doherty.
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Bedford Esquires Holy Molys Lev 1 and Lev 2. Saturday 22nd June 2013.

Although yesterday was officially the longest day, at Esquires we had the longest music day, well certainly for many years. Starting in Holy Moly's at 2.30, the next nine hours or so was a total fulfilment of varied sounds. This is one person's account (with a little help from a friend) of a memorable day at Bedford's premier music venue.

The DISTORTION FESTIVAL begins with LOST WHILST LIVE. They are not a particular favourite of mine as I feel they try and cover too many musical bases. "Miracle" is a free download and quite grungy, but it is preceded by a smattering of punkier material. "Alone" is a little bit different, being described by the vocalist as "ballady and shit". Well, methinks it's definitely the latter! Credit must go to the band as they filled in at the very last minute. They end with the very heartfelt line "Thanks for sticking round and listening to the f**k ups"! Any time guys!

MORAL PANIC feature a 'singer' who takes to laying on the dancefloor, shouting and shaking. Why it's just like 1987. He starts with a ranting tirade of "Does anybody actually like this?" His question gets little tangible response. They seem to have a Bez, Bong Goblin style. With a Slipknot and Police Brutality cover, unexpected behaviour is never far away as he soaks himself with a can of Red Stripe! Ah, such decadence from a lively band.

SONS OF RETRIBUTION feature some nice heavy guitar and good solid vocals. This is ruined slightly by the rather lame singing of the blond haired guitarist. That's why I only like half the output. They heartily encourage moshing and cover "Die die". They rather bravely attempt "Raining blood". One does wonder what the late Jeff Hanneman (RIP) would have made of their efforts. Credit must go to the female guitarist who was playing her first gig with SOR, she should be proud.

Ah BONG GOBLIN, perhaps the main reason why I got down here so early. This is a band by and for total metal mentalists (in a good way I might add!). I note that today they are beefed up by an extra guitarist. They also incorporate a little vocal help from the Moral Panic singer. It is Bong Goblin's front man who makes it such a visual treat, from writhing topless on the floor to leaping on the barriers. Although Rich 'Bossman' Taylor thankfully stops him from swinging from the lighting rigging! He does a great impression of a toddler having a tantrum in Sainsbury's. Face down and hitting the floor - Mum I want sweets! The guitarists and drummer play on oblivious and add copious amounts of atmosphere which flits from heavy to light, fast to slow in equal measure. Meanwhile the wiry vocalist continues to run amok like a tiny psychotic ninja. This is "power violence" music and I'm not alone in thinking that Bong Goblin should play here more frequently. Superb stuff.

Vendetta are slightly late in geting here. A female fronted band that fail to win me over totally. One does ponder what SOD would have made of one particular song, perhaps the angels really would begin to die! With a less than charming song about "sluts", the novelty growling is excruciatingly grating. The redeeming highlight has to be "No way out". It's fast and comes complete with a snappy "2-3-4". With a shoutout to the hardy Download goers, we deliberate. As it's nearly tea-time, is if Vendetta or Vienetta?

BROKEN CONCSCIENCE remind us of how their vocalist has a touch of the 'Hetfields' about him. If you are going to have Metallica as an influence, at least let it be the good early stuff. To the band's credit, they immediately get a few people headbangiing. They travel through a variety of rock genres which draws in plenty of heavy, shouty guitar widdling and, unfortunately, a slight bit of time wasting. They include the title track of their new EP. It's a moshing song, but the vocals were oh so dramatic that they were incoherent so we were back to low quality Metallica if that helps to paint a picture. Spirited effort though.

Next on were TRASH MONKEY, but food, fresh air and the chance to chat over the afternoon so far was, we felt, a better option so I only heard the band from the smoking zone.

I briefly glimpsed a couple of songs by the excellent and free flowing rockers NEAR MOMENTS. The female fronted band never fail to impress me, but with the clock fast approaching 8, it was time to make my way upstairs. For the record, playing afterwards at Distortion were Support, Hazard and Flesh Eating Foundation.


It's the main stage and THE PAD PRESENTS . First on are a band beginning to 'tickle my fancy', the quirky OUSE VALLEY SINGLES CLUB. They are a late addition or as frontman Tim Barron describes it "an optional extra". The venue has a major star playing later, although unfortunately it's not "Jude Law". Songs come thick and fast, one such is "The MILF hunter". "He goes for the women who are past their peak". Cheeky fun.

It has been a busy past couple of weeks for popular local trio THE SCRUFF. After playing in Watford last Saturday, they cracked on with two shows on Sunday where I saw them entertain the folks of Kempston at the park. These lads, well they "Just can't leave it alone". After impressing with their "The jackets coming off" EP, a new disc is due in a few short weeks. "Policeman" is performed fantastically. Initially it has echoes of "Neighbourhood" (Space), but as it progresses and develops it goes all full on 'ska-y'. Just to clarify, "Fat Kelly" is not about large ladies of that name! An enjoyable jaunt for all the Scruffmites.

The biggest cheer of Alan Wass's set was when a certain PETE DOHERTY made an impromptu appearance. Pete's long term friend offers up a turgid acoustic country set that very nearly sends me to sleep. Yes folks, he is in the building. You can feel the relief of every ticket holder present. I'm sure it has been a major worry to The Pad Presents ever since the news broke that Pete Doherty had characteristically cancelled or just not shown up at both Riffs Bar, Swindon and The Underworld, Stoke. What a great advert for top stars supporting struggling small venues. The panic button at Esquires was not needed. This is the last day of his short acoustic tour (even shorter now) 'Down For The Outing'. As he strides on stage (and he is tall) a loud, deafening crescendo of shrieks, hysterical shouting and cheers breaks out amongst the sold out crowd. My mind wanders back to 16th May 2002 when a paltry few attendees and I were kept hanging around for such a long while for a stupidly short set by his first band The Libertines. I was not impressed the first time and after witnessing Mr Doherty (resplendent in military headwear) strumming a few songs (including an inevitable Libertines cover), I ventured downstairs!


It's the highlight of the DISTORTION FESTIVAL as we are treated to AGHAST. I knew right away that this would be "Noise polllution" in a good way. From London, this quartet offer extreme death metal. They have always has a special affinity with Esquires, right back to their first gig here on 11th September 2008, supported by Carnal. They contain "All the rage" I was hoping for and more. Aghast are both tight and finely honed in their musical sphere. They hit the stage with a full on, fervent attack. It's supremely brutal in its execution. Everyone present is at the front, withing touching distance of these purveyors of aural velocity. We feel the music. Although they are by no means "Drop dead famous", this punishing onslaught of sound is the perfect pick me up for those beginning to flag at the end of a long day. Aghast look so in control and take delight in sonically machine gunning the audience down with a rapid round of their sheer face-melting power. The ferocious tail spin of "Its your funeral" causes eardrums to fizzle. Wow what a magnificent finale and loud applause is well merited by and for all the metalheads. My high spot of the day.


There is just about time to walk back upstairs for THE PAD PRESENTS and grab a final slice of PETE DOHERTY who looks as if he is enjoying himself immensely. There appears to be a real and genuine bond of love between Pete and his adoring, loyal fans, which has to be admired. A friend was up here and, although not a fan, said that the atmosphere had been amazing. Everyone was smiling like they couldn't believe that this was happening and taking photos on their phones like there was no tomorrow (and did "Don't look back in to the sun" which is the only one she likes!). Esquires gig of the year for many I suspect.


All in all a good day for everyone and definitely one to remember for a long time to come. A special word of mention and thanks must be made to three important people at the hub of today's events; Andrew 'Mash' Marshall who organised Distortion and Gareth and Kevin from The Pad Presents for Pete Doherty. Phew!! Time for a rest I feel.

Martin Stapleton (additional notes Karen Jones)